In our line of work, we have to be good at lining up guests. We have to do it so frequently that at times we end up being on a kind of friendly terms with them and then use that familiarity to make these guests appear more often on our shows. One such celebrity in my case was Mushahid Hussain Sayed. I lined him up for a few of my shows and he was very courteous on the phone and while meeting up. (This is a big thing for any producer if he has ever come across the likes of Qamar Zaman Kaira).
So, in a few weeks time of my first interaction with him I got his personal number and on a couple of occasions, he shortened his vacations to come to a show. On another, he came directly from the airport to the studio instead of going home, after an international flight.
Everything was going well until we did a show on BB’s birthday in 2008 or ‘09. The show was to be recorded few days prior to her actual birthday. Mushahid got his break as a journalist by the interview of BB that he did early in his career. Therefore, I invited him to be one of the panelists. He politely refused because his dad’s birthday coincided with our shooting day and they were having a party in Avari Hotel. That gave me another reason to insist since this meant he would be in Lahore. He finally relented by making me promise that we will start the show on time and will relieve him early to attend the party ( such promises are more worthless than ones made by teenagers to their true love).
He came to the show and we were an hour or two behind the schedule (which is not too bad). So, he decided on staying but asked me if I can drop him after the show since he needed to send his car back home. We usually have a couple of office cars in the studio so I told him not to worry.
After the shoot, I got to know that there was only one car that had brought Shafqat Mehmood to the program. Since the latter is very particular about the car whenever we invite him, I knew he would not let Mushahid be dropped at Aavari first --and he didn’t. Now, Mushahid was starting to panic and so was I because he was getting late and I out of options. That’s where I offered him a drop on my jalopy. He readily accepted not knowing what he was agreeing to.
I was the associate and my producer sensed the trouble I was in and came rushing to me while we walked towards my car. He knew, and rightly so, that my vintage Mehran might not make it so far without breaking down thrice in between. He gave me the key to his Santro.
As we left from Bari Studio at Multan Road and I got myself accustomed to the technological gadgetry of a Santro, I realized that the petrol sign turned orange most promptly. It meant low fuel. I had no idea if it had turned orange recently or when the producer left his house to come to the studio. If it had been any other person, one could call and ask how much would the fuel last.The other choice was to get fuel on our way. But my phone is almost always with a dead battery, the problem got even more compounded: I had forgotten to carry my wallet.
I looked in the car for money. There weren’t even car papers in there for me to pawn them for some gas. Meanwhile Mushahid Sahib’s agitation was palpable because I was concentrating more on the dashboard than on the road and I was driving fast as if that would help us get to our destination without fuel. Many a time I felt like asking him if he was in possession of some cash but my self respect and dignity restrained me.
By this time we reached Pakhewal Turning and the light turned red. Since this wasn’t new for me to know that a car at standstill means more fuel consumption, so I disregarded the signal. Mushahid turned his face and said to me in disbelief “Aap ne ishara torr diya?”
I replied: “Sir, after 9 p.m., it doesn’t matter.” We were barely past the crossing when a mounted policeman started following us. I saw him getting nearer. Two fears overtook me: 1) I had no documents and that meant our car will be taken to a police station, the car will be impounded by the SHO; 2) The newspapers blazing the headline the next day: “Mushahid Hussain Sayed caught running a red light”.
And, the most vital issue was time and fuel. So, I decided to not to stop and a chase began in real earnest. With the bumping ride, Mushahid had gotten hold of the handle above his seat and felt necessary to remind me that he was not in too much of a hurry. I, on my side, kept responding that there was no way I could let him be late for ‘uncle’s birthday.’
Right next to Sheikh Zaid’s hospital there are two speed breakers. I saw them in time but could not allow the cop behind to close in on me. This resulted in us banging our heads against the roof after which he had to tell me a bit firmly that there was no urgency and the party could wait. Knowing more than what he knew, I kept the pedal pressed to the floor. That’s where he got a call from a news channel asking for a beeper. He replied in affirmative and told me to slow down for the beeper in a very matter of fact way. I assured him that since we were on the Canal, it would be a smooth ride henceforth. He gave a beeper while I kept on rushing away from the biker guy who by now had his siren on.
It was after he had attended to his beeper that he turned coldly towards me to know what was going on. I noticed a single cabin Toyota vehicle full of security personnel overtaking the bike but surprisingly the bike riding warden gradually retreated from view and this new nuisance I hadn’t noticed at all since my leaving the Studio now started to follow us. I knew he had sent back his car but had no idea that the senator’s security vehicle was following us and had got caught in traffic when I broke the signal. By now we were on the Mall. There are two security checks at the Avari entrance. At the first, when I slowed down, Mushahid got off the moving car. I told him that he should get dropped at the main door but he just said it was OK and ran to safety.
How I got back to my place is another story but the end result of this episode was that Mushahid stopped attending my phones and responding to my messages. He must have thought as if I was a total fruitcake.
I don’t know if he still remembers this incident although even if it had never occurred, we may still have not been on good terms after the songs I made and his protest in the Senate this April against the ill-treatment of Musharraf and his holy cows. My apologies to Mushahid Sahib, nevertheless.
The writer is a producer with a leading television network but more famous as the lead vocalist for Beyghairat Brigade. He has an uncanny ability to invite trouble. He tweets @aliaftabsaeed
